Much ado about nothing....
(And yes I have seen the shakespear play)
I am not going to carry on about mindless ramblings I hope... but ramblings may not be out of the question... and since no-one really stops by to say hello anymore (Except my brother and Amber) I wonder if I should even keep this blog thing going. The blog to me feels like a thing of the past... an attempt to be more in touch with the world... and the feeling of being alone in this is not hard to miss. Should I keep this when I no longer feel in touch with some of my friends, silent readers... not hearing an encouraging word to keep my blog updated.... for now, the answer is yes.. When I am feeling lonely... apart from the world I used to know... I can still place my thoughts in a journal of sorts... to revive my creative outlet even though I feel that my friends no longer read...
Sigh.
As I sit in my dark living room, no one to talk to.... no reason to do anything but relax.. I try and think of who I can call... to visit with, chat with, catch up on news with.... at 8pm... well that eliminates anyone out of state...(I hate waking people up).... and with the discouragement that no one seems to call me... well....enough said. My thoughts go racing by as I try to think... about something to distract me from my tired state... my lonlyness... I can't help but wonder.. why to I feel so far from my friends... most of the time. I try to call some, e-mail others... myspace the few, and even Facebook my new friends... but most of the time.. they seem to busy. Granted I have joined the group of the working class, and soon will join the "family" group... but I still can't help but wonder how my elders can maintain such a good friendship with other busy families and still feel connected. Is it something I am doing wrong? Have I taken enough initiative to try and be friends with others.... or do I need to try harder? And of all things, why can my weekends be so different from those friends who I wish to be distracted by? I mean, Sunday and Monday! yes I can go to church, and get things done on Monday, but my friends all have Sat and Sun. Even my Fiancee has those days off. Why must I be set apart from them? (in case you have not figured out... I am having trouble with Mondays). I am so restless.... I am Exhausted... Sunday i am tired from a busy work week, an go home to rest... and Mondays... well you don't exactly kick back and hang with your buddies. And who wants to party or hang out on a weeknight.
Well I am back. I just got a timely phone call from my wife to be. Sharing my thoughts, feelings with her and getting her support and encouragement helped..... a true friend indeed! I look forward for the coming days when once again I am blessed with her presence... and yes, even as I begin the New Year off with my spouse. To be the same encouragement to her as she is me.... that is my prayer.
Thanks for listening... if you are still visiting this dimly lit doorstep.
Radar
I am not going to carry on about mindless ramblings I hope... but ramblings may not be out of the question... and since no-one really stops by to say hello anymore (Except my brother and Amber) I wonder if I should even keep this blog thing going. The blog to me feels like a thing of the past... an attempt to be more in touch with the world... and the feeling of being alone in this is not hard to miss. Should I keep this when I no longer feel in touch with some of my friends, silent readers... not hearing an encouraging word to keep my blog updated.... for now, the answer is yes.. When I am feeling lonely... apart from the world I used to know... I can still place my thoughts in a journal of sorts... to revive my creative outlet even though I feel that my friends no longer read...
Sigh.
As I sit in my dark living room, no one to talk to.... no reason to do anything but relax.. I try and think of who I can call... to visit with, chat with, catch up on news with.... at 8pm... well that eliminates anyone out of state...(I hate waking people up).... and with the discouragement that no one seems to call me... well....enough said. My thoughts go racing by as I try to think... about something to distract me from my tired state... my lonlyness... I can't help but wonder.. why to I feel so far from my friends... most of the time. I try to call some, e-mail others... myspace the few, and even Facebook my new friends... but most of the time.. they seem to busy. Granted I have joined the group of the working class, and soon will join the "family" group... but I still can't help but wonder how my elders can maintain such a good friendship with other busy families and still feel connected. Is it something I am doing wrong? Have I taken enough initiative to try and be friends with others.... or do I need to try harder? And of all things, why can my weekends be so different from those friends who I wish to be distracted by? I mean, Sunday and Monday! yes I can go to church, and get things done on Monday, but my friends all have Sat and Sun. Even my Fiancee has those days off. Why must I be set apart from them? (in case you have not figured out... I am having trouble with Mondays). I am so restless.... I am Exhausted... Sunday i am tired from a busy work week, an go home to rest... and Mondays... well you don't exactly kick back and hang with your buddies. And who wants to party or hang out on a weeknight.
Well I am back. I just got a timely phone call from my wife to be. Sharing my thoughts, feelings with her and getting her support and encouragement helped..... a true friend indeed! I look forward for the coming days when once again I am blessed with her presence... and yes, even as I begin the New Year off with my spouse. To be the same encouragement to her as she is me.... that is my prayer.
Thanks for listening... if you are still visiting this dimly lit doorstep.
Radar
posted by Radar | 9:13 PM
2 Comments:
Kody, Snap out of it, I feel like I was reading a suicide note or something. Yes even though I and Casey might be the only ones that read your rammblings anymore we are still reading them. I would appreciate a more upbeat note. One like all your others of marriage to come and how in love you are... and so on and so on... I would call but I really am busy. I work as of now 3 jobs and Jared works 2. The baby is coming any day in this month and I just can't find time or stay awake long enough to call. But I want you to know that I don't call anyone. So your not the only on not getting a call from me. No one does.. tee hee Well there I have scolded you enough for one day. This mom thing is going to be a sench,
Amber
HAHAHA... Thanks amber.. I was tired, exhausted and lonely. No worries, I am not going anywhere and I will definately post a more upbeat note soon!
Later!
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